Anxiety Relief with Two Proven Strategies
We all have those times in our lives that we can remember vividly. Core Memories. Most are probably related to your first trip to Disney World, or meeting your significant other, having your first baby...but sometimes they're of not such pleasant times.
I vividly remember a couple years ago, at exactly this same time of year, rushing to my PCP's office with what I was sure were the beginning symptoms of a heart attack. As soon as the nurse took me back, I told her I needed an EKG, something was very wrong with my heart. Instead, after the test, the nurse assured me I was in good health, and told me the doctor would be right in. Here we go, I thought... a full synopsis of how much red meat I was eating, a review of my sodium levels... I was ready for it all. Nope. It wasn't any of that.
The doctor walked in, sat down close to me, and asked me very simply "What's going on in your life?"
You see, although my insides were perfectly healthy, I was experiencing severe anxiety that was causing heart palpitations. It was an incredibly scary time, but a huge wakeup call that it was time to take control of the anxiety (and go on medication to help in the near term).
Anxiety is defined as intense, excessive, and persistent worry and fear about everyday situations, and I'd wager that we've all experienced anxiety at some point in our lives. When it gets to the point of causing health related concerns or prevents you from going on with your day, it's time to seek help. It's also time to take an inventory on what is causing it.
With many facets to discuss on anxiety, and we'll dig into more of them in future blog posts, I want to start with two relief strategies: "Controlling What You Can," and "Interrogating the Thought."
Let's start with the latter - "Interrogating the Thought" means to literally grab hold mentally of what it is that you are worried about. It might sound easy, but if you've suffered anxiety you know it twists and turns into a million different worries, but there's always a thought at the core. To do this, you have to stop mid anxiety and focus long enough to find it. For example, "I'm worried about the upcoming presentation at work, will our team be prepared, will I be able to speak intelligently?" At the core of the anxiety, I'm worried because I want to do well yet there are so many other things going on, I haven't had time to concentrate and prepare. As I interrogate the thought, I realize I have an hour and a half dedicated to prepare tomorrow in advance of the presentation, and I've already sent my team full details on the work that I'm counting on them to do. Another example could be on an irrational thought like "I'm a terrible mom, I allow my kids to have far too much iPad time." Ask yourself, "Is that really true? Am I truly a terrible mom? Didn't I spend all Saturday present with them at the trampoline park and playground?" The key is interrupting the thought from continuing to swirl, and playing detective – adopt the saying, "Is that really true?" and watch the anxiety dissipate!
"Controlling What You Can" is about letting go of the notion that you have the power and ability to dictate everything about a given situation. At the end of the day, what we can actually control is minuscule, yet we spend an incredible amount of time worrying about everything. Instead, allow freedom to come from knowing most pieces are NOT within your control. Take the time to focus on what IS in your control. The illustration below is a good one to understand the difference.
Hint: if you have kids that also suffer from anxiety, walk them through these differences too! It’s a subtle difference to teach kids when they are young. Ask them, “what about this situation can I control?”
